This morning Sabine asked me if I was happy - not having anything to look
forward to, like we used to.

No I am not happy. And I am not unhappy.
The concept of happy and unhappy now seems redundant.
It is something else. I have not seen a good description.

Teachers have used the image of a carrot on a stick to describe how most
people live. I see it more like throwing out a grappling hook - to grip the
'future' so we can drag ourselves along through the unexciting moments of
day to day life.

Of course when we get to what we are calling the future we find it is not
what we thought it was going to be, and even if it is fun, it doesn't last -
so we have to throw out another hook.

In one way, living the usual moment to moment could be seen as mundane.
Maintenance. Brushing teeth, showering, shopping, cooking, eating, cleaning
the dishes, putting them away, fixing things, filling in forms, driving in
traffic....

If one is not 'in' what is being done, and comparing to what one could be
doing - looking ahead, then they do seem like chores, and insignificant.

Happiness is not balanced - it is just the opposite of unhappiness.
More pleasant than unhappiness, for sure, but not balanced, and thus not
stable. Happiness is usually balanced by equal periods of unhappiness.

In the East they talk about Bliss. In most cases, what we interpret as bliss
is not what they are attempting to share. Bliss is not actually 'blissful.'

In the West we tend to think of bliss as being an 'up' energy.
What they are describing is not up, and not down.
It is not dependant on an outside situation.
It is not 'dependant' at all - it just is.

Happy Presenting...Lovely