“Bhairavaha sarva shakti bharitaha” – all those energies, siddhis, are his family to the Bhairava, so we should worship Bhairavi, his energy, to attain all the energies.

This entire concept of time is Bhairava’s form. One who desires to grow above time has to worship his energy; that is Bhairavi. One sadhaka who gives up lust, greed, passion, everything becomes his Bhairavi, his energy. The union of a Bhairavi and Bhairava is the union of absolute reality. The path of Shiva and Shakti exists as the same, but the path of the Bhairava cult involves direct relationship through the human agonies and sufferings to grow out of them. We dive right into that which we want to evolve from. As you can imagine, the path of the Bhairavi is very intense. It is intense in enjoyment, where every desire is fulfilled to lead to dissolution from it. So a Bhairavi cannot be any female; only those who have reached a certain level of growth can handle this level of enjoyment. Only one with so many births can this level of enjoyment prevent personal enslavement to such human afflictions,  as those not able to evolve out of them can become addicted and further enslaved. The Bhairava worships his Bhairavi, and together they do their sadhana to uplift themselves to higher levels of consciousness. And a Bhairavi constantly thinks about her Guru, as she is dissolved into him.

Aghori – The Bhairavi path also belongs to the path of the Aghora, that which is not impure. Nothing is impure to the Bhairavi. Ghora is that which is impure. In our past lives, Maitreya was, and still is, Aghori Kharpara Bharati, and I was, and am, Bhajrani, his Bhairavi. While human nature allows us to forget the memories of our past lives, the samskāras, the impressions are still there when we take our next birth. So over and over we question, why do I keep doing the same mistakes? What is the reason behind it? Why me? These questions never resolve themselves, actually they make the burdens more difficult to overcome. Instead of thinking so, acceptance of who we are without knowing our past mistakes serves an ability to accept all. Then all facets of the human existence will be considered as not impure, or pure. Aghoris worship such items as human skulls, and use them in rituals as a way to face the hidden truth. Ordinary people will condemn such practices as disgusting or evil, but the skull is a beautiful part of the human body. Everyone has one, it is just that we don’t see a skull in living beings that reminds us of the future death to come. This is the death that we fear, and Aghori does not have the fear death, nor fear that which we cannot see with the naked eye. As blood is feared when it pours out of a wound, actually it is the living material within us, we just now have to look at the pain associated with it. And again, the Aghori cares not about pain, but openly acknowledges it and worships it.

I received my first human skull directly at a smashan, burial ground, when I visited the Samadhi, final resting place, of Amritānanda’s Guru. I prayed to him and continued on a short walk through the field to a small village. On the same pathway back, a local villager showed me a skull. Immediately, my eyes lit up like a child to a new toy, and I asked for it. He rinsed it in some water, packed it up and I took it back to the ashram. I never verbally told Amrita Guruji, only mentally I told him, because I did not want to bring it in temple for the public to see. Most people would never understand this path and it was not the time for such a relic to be released. The perfect time did come when I visited Maitreya in Hyderabad, and we were talking about skulls. I told my son, Varma, that I had one. He wanted to see it, and I unpacked it. He and Maitreya chanted Bhairava mantras as they placed their hands on it, imbibing the powerful energies into the skull. It now sits in the puja room as a living relic.  In fact, he is joked to be my first husband.

Naked – A Bhairavi is totally naked to the truth. We come out exposed and naked to the reality. When a person exposes themselves, there is nothing to hide that protects you from your incredibly strong ego. We live unshielded from anyone or any inhibitions. Truthfully speaking, I always want to be naked. The hot weather is suffocating in this country, and I prefer to lie around the peetham in the buff all day long. In modern Indian society, they cannot tolerate seeing the skin of a woman. So constantly we play this game of locking the door and closing the windows, when men can walk around shirtless with no problem. There are mosquitoes nightly and the hot sun daily, so coverage is necessary. But when in the public only the arms, face and feet are exposed, as well as the flash of belly and back when wearing a sari. Exposing yourself in India is considered a sin, because the woman’s body is considered sacred. So why do they want to cover up such a sacred temple that deserves to be worshipped? Because of Indian suppressions, even women themselves fall into this trap.

I want to be revealed all the time, and I encourage others to let everything out so that we are left with no identity to hide. People cannot tolerate this because a Bhairavi will call you out on all your shit. We want to bring all of your inhibitions up to the surface so they can be dissolved. There is no embarrassment to the Bhairavi because we accept any faults and let them turn over quickly. I have the innate timing to be at the right place at the right time to show people exactly what they have been hiding, whether they like it or not. This can bring enemies, temporary or permanent, but it is only done out of love for them to see them grow out of their inhibitions. So, people like Nirmala and Sobha cannot stomach my presence at all. Nirmala came over last night saying she wanted to do some seva for Maitreya, but also wanted some privacy to get laid. A Bhairavi has nothing to hide, everything to reveal, so she would never need any privacy. She asked him to ask me to hide in the puja room while they had sex all in a full sari. I am such a cooperative Bhairavi that I would gladly be of service to them, chant mantras, apply lubrication, anything to show love to a  fellow Bhairavi. But alas, the great Bhairavi tradition is lost in India, and the situation was what it was. Even Americans cannot digest my presence when I open my mouth, because they do not like their suppressions and mistakes blasted out to the universe. But a Bhairavi is fearless about themselves and their loved ones.

Not a wife – A Bhairavi is not a wife at all, although our love is purer than any married couple. While Maitreya is my ever-beloved from so many thousands of years, we are not subject to the social constraints that a typical marriage has. In fact we are not even legally married, nor really care to, even though we are expecting biological children. We did promise ourselves and declare our love privately, but without any witnesses and the pomp and circumstance dog show. Maitreya says that no spiritual cult can hold a couple together, only the love can keep them together. That’s why he says that if we have the love we can be together, if we don’t have the love then we cannot be together. So there is no need for us to be wed. There is a Sanskrit term that so describes this form of marriage of nymphs, gandharva vivaha,  celestial marriage, where  a boy and girl agree to marry in private without the presence of any witness or spiritual cult, and they are considered married. This doesn’t exist openly in modern society anywhere, so again we challenge the social norms.

Usually sexual monogamy is assumed in a love union, but a Bhairavi and a Bhairava do not uphold such ideas. Ananda Bhairavis and Ananda Bhairavas practice vama tantra, where sexual union is a central part of the ritual. In our case, Maitreya is also known as Aghori Kharpara Bharati, where he had many Bhairavis and partook in vama tantra and uplifted many Bhairavis to the celestial world. Those that surrendered completely to their Guru aren’t roaming the world any longer, while those that didn’t, like me, still exist today. In the past, I did practice vama tantra with him, but kept dodging and leaving him lifetimes over and over again. Some of us have been cursed by our Guru, that they are even living in a male body in this life but show huge potential as a Bhairavi. But we don’t just fall off the trees, so don’t expect to go out on a date with one expecting a great fuck. Bhairavis are very hard to find, and would only be revealed to those who have this kind of karmic connection.  If you find a Bhairavi and try to marry her like any mere mortal, good luck if you have any idea of what that kind relationship is, because it won’t be that.

A healer – Bhairavis are great natural healers. Daily Maitreya and I do pranic healing for ourselves and our children to clear negative energy. Our family is currently hit by some prayoga, tantric black magic, so we are constantly working to keep our family together. We also massage constantly for healing and to bring back the wonderful yoga of touch back to this Indian society that is so afraid of touching each other, especially the opposite sex.