So during this session, about 20 minutes into it, she submerged me; let me go from a fetal and parachuted me out to a free-flow underwater position - alone.
 
My hands touched the bottom of the pool. My body feeling weightlessness. I felt like a fish would feel like, I suppose, meditating – floating, submerged
 
She approached and scooped me up in a fetal position and brought me to the surface. I began to cry.
 
I didn’t know why.  There were tears  
 
I told her – not to disrupt the demo, to take me under again; that I was okay.
 
She submerged me several times more. When brought to the surface I was laughing.
 
I was crying.  I was laughing
Then a pause.
Crying.
Pause.
Laughing.
 
I didn’t know why I was crying and didn’t know why I was laughing. 
 
I didn’t know what to do - cry or laugh..
 
I was under the water again  I knew I couldn’t cry or laugh since I was submerged.
 
So I neither cried nor laughed under the water,
I was submerged head first.  I was dangling in the water – just my body.  Stillness.
 
I felt true essence in between the crying and the laughing.
The true essence of nothingness.
 
It was as if I had died.
Peacefully.
 
No tears.  No laughter.  Just me.  No thought.  Just dangling.
 
It is this true essence that lies in the midst of nothingness – in the midst of emotions.  Crying and laughing, happy/sad, they are one and the same.
 
What does separate them, though, is not their perceived meaning, but only silent nectar, this pure essence in the center of the perception of duality.  And that nectar is love.