Why do I keep doing the same thing over and over again? Why can't I lose these 20 pounds? Why can't I speak my truth to my loved ones? Why can't I manifest my soulmate? Why can't I set healthy boundaries? Why can't I save money? Why won't I leave an abusive relationship? Why won't others hear what I'm saying? Why do I always have conflict in my life? Why can't I feel anything but negative feelings or nothing at all? Why, why, why?

These are all questions that are rooted in the shadow. These questions linger throughout the years as we fight against our limitations, walls and blocks that prevent us from real lifelong change. These questions, although prevalent for some, go unanswered for many either because they think they've already figured it out and that hasn't helped so they succumb to resignation or they're too scared of what they will find out. Why? Because they may have to give up their big shadow excuse and actually take a new kind of responsibility for their lives. This terror that prevents us from feeling powerful and strong is the same terror that we experienced as children. This terror that will have us drown in the endless pit of denial is the same terror that will suck all the joy, happiness and success that we deserve out of life.

When we are driven by our shadows, it is because we are out of balance. We are only living in the darkness and not the light. As I reiterate in every single one of my books, there has to be an equal share of negative and positive. There is no darkness without light. There is no fear without courage. There is no unworthiness without worthiness. There is no misery without happiness. There is no anger without love. There is no resentment without compassion. There is no resignation without a world of possibility.

Behind every no, every rejection, and every loss, there is a big yes, a big love and a big win waiting for you. But you may be too lazy, stuck or resigned to find it. Just take a moment, close your eyes and ask yourself honestly: Are you living in balance? Do you accept all of your feelings? Are you an equal opportunity human being or are you a one-sided, narrow-minded, biased person?

Sometimes we must search for the polar opposite. We don't just take a momentary glance into our shadows and then turn away. This must be our mission. Our shadows are there to guide us and teach us the balance we are looking to achieve. Our shadows are there to help us find compassion, kindness, and reverence not just for others but for ourselves. This is the task of all the world's great gurus and saints -- to go inside to find the lack of love and then the love that will heal all and return us to wholeness.

Now is your time! Take it on! Don't spend another year wallowing in the same old shadow pit! Come out! Come out! We need you - all of you, the whole you, the necessary you, the hot, sexy, delicious and joyful you. It is there you will bask in the glory of being a whole, healed human being.

Transformational Action Steps

1. If you haven't read it yet, start with The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. And if you have, then read or re-read The Shadow Effect book.

2. Watch The Shadow Effect movie.

3. Take The Shadow Effect Online Workshop.

4. Experience the creme-de-la-creme -- The Shadow Process Retreat, widely considered to be the gold standard of transformational work. Don't miss it.

With love and blessings,

Debbie