If you hold anything, anything, anything back – you cannot feel close.
If they are really open, the other person can feel close to you, but you
will not feel close/integrated with them. It is the same for any connection.
It is so, so rare that anyone even approaches sharing their truth - even to
themselves!

You say you have not recovered from the old experiences - and you never will
- until you are ready to share them. As you say: even sharing with yourself
and you are already feeling more free!

It is not just about being a beautiful sexual being -
that is very secondary, it is about being a beautiful being!
You really do set yourself free with the truth.

You say:
>It seems it is time to let go of my pride and be a whole lot more
>ordinary...and you know what, it is really easy, in fact it takes a lot less
>energy.

Holding back takes energy. It takes at least an equal amount of energy to
hold back the energy that you do not share - so twice the energy is not
being available for living.

As I keep saying - don't listen the mind - be spontaneous - and whatever the
consequences, live your truth.

Life starts now.
We just have to live our maximum potential with the present circumstances.

Suggestion: Keep looking. When you let go one thing you will often find
there was another one hidden underneath.
Don't stop - share anything at all that comes up for you.
Life is much less predictable that way - and thus, much more exciting.
Eventually you become unpredictable even to yourself.
That is when the fun really starts.

We all need to keep looking.
Happy looking...