January 29, 2008

Curling

This afternoon I was invited to meet a scientist who’s apparently discovered the secret of dark matter. I think he was Indian. Then again he was big and had muscles which usually isn’t their thing. So he might have been something else. He said that for a long time a huge quantity of space, both here and there, has been considered unknown in both a what is it and a where is it sort of way, and that he’d finally discovered why. The poor guy looked like he hadn’t slept in years. His wife on the other hand was super hot. Super hot. And it’s hard to keep up with formulas when you’re looking at a beautiful woman’s earlobes. She had the kind that don’t dangle. The ones that just connect straight with the neck. So stream lined. So sleek. So great that every time he revealed another link in the equation I took the opportunity to turn to her and nod, just so I could clock them. She also had that Brazilian ass that for some reason gravity pulls upwards and outwards. It sort of made sense that she was with a quantum physicist. When he said that infinity and finite structures were complimentary she was making her way to the ladies room and my tongue was hanging out of my mouth. She had one of those over-sexed walks. The kind that makes a man wince. He then said that although Einstein had discovered that gravity is the result of space-time curving, it’s also the result of it curling. Like the way you close your hand with your pinkie first, then your ring finger, then your middle finger, etcetera, etcetera. He did it with his own hand a couple of times, just to show me. It’s actually quite beautiful. This is the secret of creation, he said. The secret of everything. And when his wife finally returned and sat down between us, I have to say, I believed him.